Famous Philosophers on Wives and Women....

I recently read that love is entirely a matterof chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
- David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no betterrevenge than to let him keep her.
- Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become twosides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they staytogether.
- Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife,you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and preventsus from achieving them.
- Dumas

The great question... which I have not been ableto answer... is, "What does a woman want?
- Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
- Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candle light, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
- Henry Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
- Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that iseven faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
- James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The firstone left me and the second one didn't."
- Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
- Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything Iwanted to.
- Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
- Milton Berle

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the samething: "You can have mine."
- A joke in a journal